This will put a smile on your face, ten miles wide.

Shiny, new American friend Jolene is turning 25 soon.
To celebrate she is throwing an America, FUCK YEAH party and I'm making her a Cherry Pie.
I've never made a cherry pie before, can you believe it?
SO I've searched the internet for the perfect recipe and I'm testing it out this afternoon.
In fact, it's just gone in the oven now.

Hey Jo. Stop being so pretty.

Put this on repeat and follow the instructions below.

Ingredients

• 2 large jars of cherries (about 4 cups)
  
• 1 1/2 cups sugar.
• 6 tablespoons cornflour.
• 1/8 teaspoon almond extract.
• a sprinkle of cinnamon.
  
• Short crust pastry ( I cheated and used frozen stuff)
  
• 1 1/2 tablespoons butter.
  
• 1 tablespoon sugar, to sprinkle.

Directions

Place cherries in medium saucepan and place over heat.

After the cherries lose considerable juice, which may take a few minutes, remove from heat.

Mix the sugar and cornflour together. Pour this mixture into the hot cherries and mix well.

Add the almond extract, if desired, and mix.

Return the mixture to the stove and cook over low heat until thickened, stirring frequently.

Remove from the heat and let cool. If the filling is too thick, add a little water or juice from the canned cherries, too thin, add a little more cornstarch.

Preheat the oven to 190.

Prepare your crust.

Pour cooled cherry mixture into the crust. Dot with bits of butter.

Cris-cross pastry strips across top and sprinkle with sugar.

Bake for about 50 minutes. Remove from the oven and place on a rack to cool.

Eat covered in ice-cream and try not to cry when you realise how delicious it is.

Here it before i popped it in the oven.

Helllooooo beautiful.

Feels like Sunday.

What a rainy, lazy day.

Perfect for pirate ship building,
bacon and egg butties,





taking arty-farty photos of the kittens,





Louie documentaries,




and a Mexican feast with Steve.

Also, special extended Blu ray edition of Lord of the Rings.
Bliss.

This morning i woke with one bright, shiny peeper.




And this.





A sticky, gunky, blotchy peeper courtesy of a single cat hair.
It was even stuck together this morning. GROSS.

Worst thing is, wasn't even my cat!
On Wednesday night Scott and I popped over to Amy and Nicks for a quick visit.
Usually I spending half my time there smooshing and huffing and smooching Amy's cats.
That night was no different. I was smothering Penny with love. Oh Penny. She is truly magnificent. She has beautiful soft and fluffy fur that I could bury my face in it and live there happily forever. She is also super dainty and smells delicious.

LOOK AT HER.

So after I'd finally let her go, i realised there was something irritating my eye.
I couldn't find anything in there so I went to bed as normal.
When I woke up on Thursday it was awful, I carefully cleaned it out and managed to pull out a long Penny hair that had been swimming around my eyeball all night. All day it was irritating the shit out of me but I could still see fine so i thought it would pass. Then this morning when I woke up it was stuck together, disgusting!
I can't really see properly out of it and it's sticky. EW.
Off to the doctors for me!

I'm also going to never, ever going to stop huffing Penny though.

EDIT! I just got back to the doctors. I have conjunctivitis. Super gross. HAH.

I'm having the most wonderful Australia Day.
House to myself.
Black Books marathon.
A grazing plate of my favorite things.
Sigh.

fifteen favourite photos

1. You.
(Well, me actually. The night of our housewarming. It was Mad Men themed)






2. Breakfast.
(One of the greatest breakfast's I've ever had. Courtesy of Diana and Brendan)






3. Something you adore.
(My babies, Minette and Louie)





4. Something you miss.
(Max, my man)




5. Something you wear.
(I've had this dress for years. We've been through some shit)





6. Something that makes you smile.
(My Strange. <3)





7. Favourite.
(My Mum. She is my everything)




8. Friends.
(One of my favourite photos of a couple of the best people around)





9. Holiday.
(I adore Christmas. I adore Christmas food)





10. Dancing.
(I love to dance)




11. Childhood.
(My brother, Stephen and I on our annual family holiday with our Grandparents to Blackpool pleasure beach in England)





12. Where you sleep.
(Usually covered in these two)





13. Close up.
(Byron Bay)




14. Something you are reading.
(The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo)




15. Happiness.
(The best photo of Scott and I ever taken. At our friends Amy and Nick's beautiful wedding, the photographer captured this moment surrounded by our friends)

Day fourteen. (THE END!!!!)

WOOH!
I DID IT!
Two weeks with no dairy, red meat, sugar or white bread/pasta products.
I feel great!
I'm also very, very proud of myself. I've never, ever stuck with anything like this before and i did it! I'm sleeping better, i have more energy, and better skin, it's basically been the perfect way to kick start Laura 2012.

Today a bunch of us helped our friends, Diana and Brendan move house. It was hot, sticky and a generally awful day to try and move. It also kept sporadically pissing it down too, just to make things fun. Luckily, five cars and a big truck were involved so we squashed everything in and managed to do it in one go, as a thank you, they bought us all pizza capers. I was super excited because i could finally have pizza and it was glorious. I had 4 slices of Lambada.




It's lamb, capsicum, olives, feta, tzatziki and sprouts. 4 things i have been cutting out for the fortnight. Naturally it was the most amazing thing in the world going in but half an hour later i felt like death. It felt like needles were stabbing me in the stomach. It's probably a god thing though because if i had felt fine, i would of done this.....








Seriously.
So I'm sticking with the basic eating plan I've set up for myself, same amount of fruit and veg, sticking with the whole grains and the brown pasta, SLOWLY introducing a bit of yoghurt and cheese back into my diet (seriously slowly, because i could easily run away with a wheel of brie) and only good quality lean red meat.
Oh, and a teeny weeny bit of chocolate too.


GO NEW ME!

Day twelve & thirteen

I had a fabulous night last night.
There is nothing better than a good girls night out.
I'd also never been to the casino in Brisbane before, even though I've lived here for over two years. Outrageous! It's pretty swanky, all i really wanted to do was buy a chip and put it on a roulette wheel.




So i did.
(and lost)


We went to a few great places, Brew being the best of the bunch. Such an amazing little place, filled with beautiful hipsters, quirky decorations and an amazing collection of beverages. Sigh.
I've also heard they make incredible coffee.

Just two of my favorite shots of the night.
Caragh and Jess up top then Jess, me and Jo on the bottom.

I honestly had a shitty day in terms of detox. I didn't eat three proper meals, I ate at weird times and as a result I woke up starving this morning. I did however get through a really nice night out by being rather sensible. I only had three glasses of white wine and spaced them out with water in between. I think the last glass I had was a really shitty wine and it was super sweet so I got to go to bed with the mother of all headaches.

Day Twelve.

B/fast - M/tea - Banana, punnet of cherry tomatoes, sliced chicken breast +water and can of coke zero.
Snack - Chicca chips (gluten free deliciousness) and two plums.
Dinner - BROTH
+ three glasses of wine. + 5 glasses of water.

Day 13
B/fast - Two slices of g/f bread with extra grains. Shaved chicken breast, spinach leaves and two fried eggs. HEAVEN. + one Baron coffee. +750 mls of water.
M/tea - Lunch - One green apple and a glass of coke zero.
Dinner. Unconfirmed. Probably just a mountain of broccoli.
Snacks - Red grapes and G/F chippies.



I'm going to see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo tonight at Southbank, I've got my grapes and G/f chippies ready for snacks, I've been looking forward to this movie coming out for ages. The Swedish version was brilliant and I've (FINALLY) just started the books. MEEP!
Also tomorrow is my last detox day...... Just saying.

Here is a quick shot of my breakfast. Don't be jealous now.

Day eleven

Sweet, merciful broth. You make me ever so happy.

So filling, so tasty. LE NOM. Recipe on the bottom.

Day eleven.
B/fast - one banana, one plum, one small black coffee, no sugar.
M/tea - one carrot, brown rice crackers, one plum. +750ml water.
Lunch - shaved chicken breast, one punnet of cherry tomatoes, grapes, two plain brown wraps.
Dinner - chicken broth! Grapes. +500ml water.

I've had to cut down the amount of water I've been drinking in the morning, it makes me pee constantly and I'm not really allowed to make that many personal breaks at work so I'm drinking more at night with dinner. This probably means I'm going to be up all night but oh well.

Second day at the gym today was great, I even jogged. I also went for a great swim afterwards.
Tomorrow night I'm going out with the girls so there will be no post, I've found that i can drink gin and tonic and a wedge of lime and it has no sugar in it. JOY. I'm letting myself have three and then I'll be done for the night. I plan to exercise by dancing up a storm.
Oh! I joined a website called myfitnesspal.com, it's brilliant. It tracks my weight, exercises and food intake and gives me realistic expectations of what i can lose. I'm theartfulramlber if you want to follow my progress.


Spicy chicken broth (or unspicy if you are weak like me)

Ingredients -
500gms chicken breast
Green capsicum, thinly sliced.
Baby bok choi, roughly cut.
Broccoli, roughly cut.
Green beans.
Garlic paste.
Ginger paste.
Vermicelli rice noodles or Hokkien noodles.
Bean shoots.
Chicken stock, 3 cups.
Soy sauce, 1/4 cup.

Optional - one red chilli with seeds, finely sliced.

Bring a dollop of ginger, garlic, two cups of water and stock to boil in a giant saucepan.
Brush chicken in a little more of the garlic and ginger, mixed with a splash of soy sauce and grill until brown in a splash of oil. Set aside to cool. When cool, break into strips.
When water is boiled and smells amazing, place the noodles and all greenery in there for a minute on boil.
Using tongs, place noodle/veggie combination into bowls, add chicken and pour left over broth over the entire thing. Sprinkle with the chilli if you must.
ENJOY!
It makes a whole heap and freezes really well.

Day nine & ten

On Tuesday, I dined like a Queen on the most glorious smoked salmon known to man.
It rested daintily on a bed of water cress and asparagus, sprinkled with pine nuts. *sigh*
It was heaven, pure heaven.
It was supposed to come with creamy, gorgonzola syrup but I'm a good girl so I opted out.
It looked a little like this wonderful bastard.
(EXCEPT THERE WERE TWO PIECES)

Day nine.

B/fast - fruit, fruit, fruit. +750ml water
M/tea - carrot and celery sticks and brown rice crackers.
Lunch - Two brown wraps with chicken and avocado. +750 ml water.
A/tea - blueberries and cherry tomatoes. peppermint tea.
Dinner - GLORIOUS SALMON.
Dessert - pineapple.


Day ten.
B/fast - brown rice crackers, apple.
M/tea - carrots and celery and brown rice crackers. +750ml of water
Lunch - brown pasta, poached chicken, garlic.
A/tea - peppermint tea and pineapple. +750ml of water.
Dinner - Grilled chicken breast with ginger and soy sauce, corn on the cob and a mountain or brocolli + one small glass of coke zero.
Dessert - A cup of grapes.

Four more sleeps until I can have chocolate.
Also, I went to the gym for the first time in 6 weeks today. Damn near killed me but I feel great now. Back to it tomorrow!

Day eight.

I miss chocolate.
Seriously.
It's like a sweet, milky cuddle.
Six more days and I can have a piece. Just one piece.
*sigh*

Day eight!
Breakfast - An apple.
M/tea - Carrot and Celery sticks. +750mls water
Lunch - Brown pasta, garlic, ginger, chicken, onion and celery with a splash of soy sauce. +one can of coke zero.
A/tea - Cherry tomatoes and blueberries, pineapple. +750ml water
Dinner - 2 fish fillets, a TONNE of broccoli and some sweet corn.
I haven't decided about dessert. I want all of the things.
It will probably be an apple.

Day seven.

Guess what I saw last night?



It was glorious.
I couldn't think of a better way to spend two hours. It was so funny and light-hearted and made the group of us giddy with glee.
Please go see it.


Sunday is by far the laziest day for Strange and I.
We got up late, grabbed a coffee from the wonderful Barons (mine was black, no sugar BOO!) and headed into Myers to spend our Christmas voucher. We REALLY needed a dust buster. There are tiny little fluff and dust kittens all over our house and although we thoroughly vacuum them as much as possible we still needed something that could easily zip around and get the mid-week ones. We also spotted a super cheap dvd/blu ray player for the spare room TV so I could watch my movies in peace, $50! Bargain! So with those two purchases, our voucher was gone and home we went. After some serious spring cleaning I set about marinating and poaching a heap of chicken for lunch for the next week.
Now I'm lazing around like a bum watching movies. Scott and I do the same thing every Sunday, we watch movies and shows, he plays video games and then we get together and do the same.
Today I watched Interview with a Vampire and now I'm watching A Christmas Carol (the Jim Carrey version, that was released in 2010)
I adore Jim Carrey, have you seen his website? The sound alone is the best.

Day seven detox (lazy day!)
Breakfast - One black coffee. (oops)
Lunch - Brown rice crackers with turkey breast and avocado.
Afternoon tea - Apple and carrot.
Dinner - Marinated chicken breast, lightly grilled with soy sauce, garlic and ginger, brown pasta and broccoli and peas.
Dessert - A punnet of blueberries.

ONE WEEK TO GO!!!!

Day five & six

You know. I had the most delicious breakfast this morning.
Tow teeny pieces of gluten/wheat/dairy/salt free bread toasted with spinach, shaved turkey breast and an egg. Also a side of juicy pineapple.







It was quite delicious.

Yesterday was Friday. On Friday my breakfast usually consists of the BIGGEST SWEETEST iced coffee i can find. Then, because I finish early I usually treat myself to lunch, what ever tickles my fancy in the mall. Last week it was McDonalds. Oops.
This week my system had a tantrum when it realised it would not be having such treats. Another breakfast of fruit and lots of water. Lunch was some gluten free corn chips with avocado and an apple. Afternoon tea was a banana and an entire punnet of blueberries. Heaven.

Now dinner. I was going out! My first night out with Scott and a few of his old friends. We had carefully scoped out a restaurant with a menu that i could eat without being that jerk who can't order a thing. I chose the Barramundi with lemon and dill, on a bed of green beans and steamed potatoes. Sadly, when the damn thing arrived it was drizzled in this buttery, cream sauce that looked suspiciously like holliandaise. I could of cried, then dived into that buttery heaven like a champ. But i was a good girl. I carefully scraped all the sauce off my fish and beans then dabbed (YES DABBED) all the excess oil and crap of my potatoes before i ate them. I truly looked like a crazy person. It was delicious, even without the sauce. I also had my first glass of coke zero in five days, so naturally i was up until 1am, high on caffeine.

My scrummy breakfast is pictured above (true, it was consumed at 1pm this afternoon, because we were super lazy and didn't' get up until 12). I've also eaten an apple and some more of those corn chips. Tonight, a bunch of us are heading to see the new Muppets movie so I've packed myself a whole heap of fruit and snacks so I'm not going to die when my friends are munching away on popcorn.
It's been a pretty good two days.

Oh, headache has gone!!

Day four.

MAN IT'S HOT.
I feel so so bad for little Minnie during these days. Being all beautiful and black she really suffers in the heat.
Look at this floppy kitten.






Day four of detox was a bit of a none day really. We went shopping last night and stocked up on things I can eat so I haven't felt any pangs or cravings at all. The headache remains and hits with a vengeance after 3pm, it's usually when I have a chocolate fix to get me through the afternoon.
Now I nom on some pineapple or other sweet fruit. I'm hoping it will go away soon, i'm also worried that when i introduce small pieces of sweets or chocolate back into my diet I'll get another headache.

B/fast - Lot's of fruit +750ml water
M/tea - Brown rice crackers. Carrot and Celery sticks.
Lunch - Two brow wraps with chicken breast, avocado and lettuce. Cherry tomatoes and blueberries. +750mls water
A/tea - Pineapple and a peppermint tea.
Dinner - Two fried eggs on wheat/gluten/dairy free bread, red capsicum and a mango.

Day Three

Otherwise known as the day I cried in the middle of Woolworth's because they didn't have the chicken I wanted. I guess now my body has realised that I'm not giving up on this one it's decided to battle back by fucking with my emotions.

B/fast - Lots of grapes, banana and pineapple.
M/tea - Brown rice crackers with avocado and a carrot stick. + 750 mls of water.
Lunch - Delicious chicken broth and a nectarine.
A/tea - More pineapple and a cup of peppermint tea.
Dinner - Shaved turkey breast, veggie chips, blueberries, cherry tomatoes and brown rice crackers with avocado.

My dinner was a bit of a lame one, it was 8pm by the time I got home from work then we had to do the food shopping afterwards so by the time I settled down to eat I wanted bits that I could nibble on. I'm feeling full and satisfied, I may have a little bit of pineapple soon to curb that sweet craving that has been creeping up on me.

Headache still remains.

My co-worker gave me an odd coloured powder that is basically an internal cleanser. I'm supposed to have it before I go to bed. I'm pretty sure it's going to have a super laxative affect making me double my bathroom visits. Ugh.

11 days left!

Day Two.

I really jumped straight into this detox without much planning or preparation. Typical me-style.

Yesterday I basically grabbed everything that I could in the fridge that I was able to eat then proceeded to devour it all by 1pm. I realised I really needed to plan something more substantial to eat during the day or I may cheat, pass out and die. (Or fail miserably at this detox)

A quick trip to Woolies saw me stock up on brown pasta, fish, brown rice crackers, grapes and strawberries for when I needed that sweet hit. Day two was much more of a success, I felt full after lunch and never really had a sugar craving, well, except now so I'm writing this post.

Oh! I can't forget the headaches! A dull, throbbing ache that sits on my head all day secretly taunting me. I've been told that it will go after the third day but I'm assuming with the ridiculous amount of sugar I consume it could be up to five or six days. Also, due to the amount of water I've been drinking I pee ALL THE TIME. It goes straight through me. Enough of that whinging, here is what I've been eating.

Day one... Fail day.

B/fast - 1 banana, 1 nectarine and 2 people of pineapple. + 750mls of water.
M/tea - 1 boiled egg, 4 carrot sticks, four cherry tomatoes and a quarter of red capsicum. + 750mls of water and one cup of peppermint tea.
Lunch - 500gm of chicken breast, more cherry tomatoes, carrots and carrot. three pieces of pineapple. + 750ml of water.
A/tea - More damn pineapple and a cup of peppermint tea.
Dinner - Chicken broth. + a handful of grapes. More water.


Day two

B/fast - 1 boiled egg. 1 banana. handful of grapes. + 750mls of water
M/tea - 2 Strawberries. 6 small brown rice crackers with avocado and cracked pepper. +750mls water.
Lunch - Quarter of a cup of brown pasta mixed with soy sauce, garlic, sweet corn, beans and peas. 1 boiled egg. 1 carrot. 10 strawberries. + 750ml of water.
A/tea - Peppermint tea.
Dinner - Two pieces of steamed white fish. 1 banana. 1 nectarine. 1 carrot.

Tomorrow is a whole new day!

Day one.

Dear Bread, My old friend. It's time to take a back seat for the next 15 days.






Take your friend sugar,

And dairy too....






Don't forget red meat,





I'll see you again soon I promise.
We've just been having too much fun lately so I need to say goodbye, for now.
Love you guys.